Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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