so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
