we're blogging at a bar
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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