32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
