90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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