can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
