erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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