The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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