my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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