I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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