You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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