Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
