He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Who died my cat blue again?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
