He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
