Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
