He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
being pregnant is like rehab
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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