Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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