i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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