I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
