which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize