Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
please come you make the beer taste better
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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