Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
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Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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