he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
