I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
