We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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