You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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