My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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