I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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