I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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