Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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