Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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