I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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