guys are not supposed to queef...right?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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