We won't sleep together?
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
