Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
