Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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