CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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