you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
