hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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