I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
