the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize