I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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