People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
