Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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