we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
