In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
50% drunk capacity currently
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
