why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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