what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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