I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize