Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she smelled like a LAN party
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
