it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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