I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
