On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it's like iHOP with fire
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
