At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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