dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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