How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
