I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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